Usually I am fine with that except I am not in the cake mood this week and the smell of butter and cream is giving me an unnecessarily headache. I can’t throw it away nor can I give it to someone else because anyone who is a ‘someone’ in the office (hah!) already got a piece and if I give it away to someone who didn’t get a piece from the original giver, then it might offend both the giver and the unintended recipient. Does that make sense? What should I do with the cake?
Besides cake issue, as you will tell from this post, I am dealing very badly with stress at work. A couple of nights ago, I started drinking at home after work by myself and I got pissed drunk after 2 glasses of lonesome wine and I passed out at 9pm. The Man, who goes to sleep only at 3am, told me that I was tossing and turning and sputtering nonsense in my sleep. He said I woke up at around 2am and started rolling on top of him. Not in the sexy way. We suspect that I was mimicking a juggernaut and trying to proverbially ‘crush’ away my stress. Poor him; he was collateral damage.
He is certainly not my source of stress. He is, what people call, a “long suffering boyfriend”. Throughout our relationship, he only shouted at me once – but he did it in the car so it was very loud. And he only shouted because I was going at him for something really stupid – if I am not mistaken, it was because he was wearing the wrong tee shirt. I linked it to him not appreciating me. You know us, girls, we can link such things. Anyway, after he shouted at me (really loudly), there was a deafening silence. I can sense that he wanted to hit me on the head too but since I was driving, he didn’t (for fear of his own safety). When I stopped driving (at the destination, mind you, I didn’t do the stop-by-the-roadside nonsense), I already forgot what we were fighting about. He didn’t because he obviously had a lot of free time seething at the passenger seat while I was doing my F1 stunts on the road. Anyway, so I groveled and we were okay after that. You see, another reason why we are still together is because although I’m unreasonable and stupid, I am amnesiac and okay with groveling. Maybe that’s why our relationship works. Who knows.
Funny enough, people still think I am single. The other day, a colleague of mine commented that she is surprised I have been single for so long. When I asked her why she thinks that, she said I only bring “that girl” to our office event the past 2 years. By “that girl”, she is referring to The Toe. Now, that’s an interesting preposition. She is assuming I am straight – which is unusual because everyone at the climbing gym believed me and Toe to be lesbians. Anyway, I told my colleague that I bring “that girl” because I don’t like to mix work and pleasure.
Which means, Toe is work. Hahaha! No lar, she is not . She is a piece of work, though. At my last office event, I introduced her to my Big Boss. She have had like a dozen gin lime & lime by then. I introduced her as my BFF to Big Boss. I even ask Big Boss if he knew what BFF means and he said yes. My Big Boss started asking her about HER big boss whom he knew, to which The Toe replied, “oh, that fucker talk a lot of cock”. Needless to say, my Big Boss and Toe got along very well and my Big Boss even wrote me an email after to say that my BFF as of 25th April 2012, is very charming. The fact that he indicated a date very evidently shows that he understands the concept of BFF. Smart guy.
And now, in case you are wondering what happened to that piece of cake I was talking about earlier, it is in my stomach. Thanks for reading thus far…
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Sunday, May 06, 2012
Extraterritorial Markings
There was once I saw strange markings on The Toe's hand, near her thumb.
It was an arrangement of red (painless and non-itchy) dots in a symmetrical fashion. In fact, it was so symmetrical that it looked like it was imprinted/stamped on; it did not look natural. I examined it at length and in the end, I concluded she must have been abducted by aliens and that was what they left on her after they were done with her. Brr.. scary.
A few months later, while we were climbing, The Toe let out a squeal when I turned around.
Toe: OH MY GAWD.
Frou: What? What?
Toe: You...you...
Frou: What?
Toe: ....you were abducted too!
I have the exact same marking on my back!
This is so freakky!!!!
It was an arrangement of red (painless and non-itchy) dots in a symmetrical fashion. In fact, it was so symmetrical that it looked like it was imprinted/stamped on; it did not look natural. I examined it at length and in the end, I concluded she must have been abducted by aliens and that was what they left on her after they were done with her. Brr.. scary.
A few months later, while we were climbing, The Toe let out a squeal when I turned around.
Toe: OH MY GAWD.
Frou: What? What?
Toe: You...you...
Frou: What?
Toe: ....you were abducted too!
I have the exact same marking on my back!
This is so freakky!!!!
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Singapore: A Country of Extremes
A very interesting read that was forwarded to me this morning. Too bad I didn't catch the name of the writer in the forwarded email.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Diary of a Singaporean Mind
Friday March 23, 2012
I just checked the latest results for COE bidding out today and found that the COE for big cars has crossed the $80K mark. Singapore has the highest cost of car ownership in the world and I wonder if we have the highest cost of car ownership excluding the price of the car! In many places you can get a brand new Mercedes for less than the price of that piece of paper.
The COE is just one example of an extreme that Singaporeans have to cope with in their struggle for a better quality of life. While it is often argued that these schemes are necessary for various reasons, we should think about the outcomes and the cumulative effects of these extremes on ordinary Singaporeans. For me, I find it quite amazing how Singaporeans have come to accept these extremes - the same situation that will make citizens of other countries jump and scream - yet our leaders express their view that Singaporeans lack resilience [Resilience building challenging for S'pore] and are too dependent on the govt.
Singaporeans pay the 2nd highest electricity tariffs in the world. Our leaders are paid the highest salaries in the world even after the recent 'cuts'. We have the most expensive public housing in the world. The biggest income gap among developed countries - nobody comes close except USA which occasionally beat us...but the people there have been occupying Wall Street for months due to the income inequality and we can't even find people to show up at Raffles Place. Our fertility rate has plunged to be the lowest among 222 countries. [See CIA's factbook]. We now have the 2nd highest population density in the world. Highest foreign influx outside the middle east. We have the 2nd highest per capita execution rate in the world after this country known as Turkmenistan which is run by mad dictators.
Singaporean workers work the longest hours according to ILO (without minimum wages). Workers have the 2nd highest stress level in Asia[Link]. Singapore has the fastest growing number of millionaires likely due to the naturalisation of high net worth individuals here for the low taxes. The 2 casinos here have overtaken the total revenue of casinos in Las Vegas, Lee Kuan Yew left his PM job as the world's longest serving prime minister. We also have the world's the longest-serving prisoner of conscience, Chia Thye Poh whose detention exceeded that of Nelson Mandela.
Singaporean workers are the world's unhappiest. Singaporeans shoulder the heaviest share of healthcare expediture among developed countries and our govt % expenditure of healthcare is the lowest. Our expenditure on defense express as a % of the govt budget exceeds that of Israel.
The foreign maids in Singapore are the among lowest paid in the world - large part of what you pay goes to the levy yet the whole country can debate for months over giving the maid one day off per week when this is mandatory in every other country where they are better paid. Singapore probably has some of the best educated cabbies in the world due to severe structural unemployment - it is not uncommon to meet a cabby with a degree and if you're lucky, you can meet the one with a PhD from Stanford.
Our team based (GRC) election system is quite unique in the world and generate results that are also very unusual - a govt opposed by 40% of the people has 95% of the seats in parliament.
We have elderly cleaners [Elderly toilet cleaners a sad reflection of society here] - they are sometimes so old that even people from developing countries like China and Phillipines get a shock when they see these cleaners. Singaporeans have the highest savings rate in the world due to the CPF scheme but more than half will not have enough (minimum sum) to retire on. Singapore has one of the highest reserves per capita in the world - large part of which comes from the the sale of public housing to Singaporeans many of whom now have great difficulty retiring unless they are willing to lose their homes.
It is strange how we have come to accept some of these extremes as normal over time. When you talk about spending a little less on defense some Singaporeans will worry about being less secure. When we discuss about giving maids one day off Singaporeans worry about what the maids will do during their day off - yet they trust the maid to look after their expensive homes and their children. When we cut the pay of our leaders which was the highest in the world, we cut it to a level that is still the highest in the world. The govt is terrified of giving a little more aid to the poor elderly so that they do not have to work yet they are okay with with losing a few tens of billions of our reserves in bad investments.
There is a tipping point when people begin to see reality for what it is and the distortion becomes hard for the mind to accept. There will be a point when change becomes inevitable and people begin to push things from the extreme back to normal - the propaganda can only do so much for so long. I often wonder if it is going to be a long slow process towards normality or we are going to snap out of this deep hypnosis by a single event in 2016.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Diary of a Singaporean Mind
Friday March 23, 2012
I just checked the latest results for COE bidding out today and found that the COE for big cars has crossed the $80K mark. Singapore has the highest cost of car ownership in the world and I wonder if we have the highest cost of car ownership excluding the price of the car! In many places you can get a brand new Mercedes for less than the price of that piece of paper.
The COE is just one example of an extreme that Singaporeans have to cope with in their struggle for a better quality of life. While it is often argued that these schemes are necessary for various reasons, we should think about the outcomes and the cumulative effects of these extremes on ordinary Singaporeans. For me, I find it quite amazing how Singaporeans have come to accept these extremes - the same situation that will make citizens of other countries jump and scream - yet our leaders express their view that Singaporeans lack resilience [Resilience building challenging for S'pore] and are too dependent on the govt.
Singaporeans pay the 2nd highest electricity tariffs in the world. Our leaders are paid the highest salaries in the world even after the recent 'cuts'. We have the most expensive public housing in the world. The biggest income gap among developed countries - nobody comes close except USA which occasionally beat us...but the people there have been occupying Wall Street for months due to the income inequality and we can't even find people to show up at Raffles Place. Our fertility rate has plunged to be the lowest among 222 countries. [See CIA's factbook]. We now have the 2nd highest population density in the world. Highest foreign influx outside the middle east. We have the 2nd highest per capita execution rate in the world after this country known as Turkmenistan which is run by mad dictators.
Singaporean workers work the longest hours according to ILO (without minimum wages). Workers have the 2nd highest stress level in Asia[Link]. Singapore has the fastest growing number of millionaires likely due to the naturalisation of high net worth individuals here for the low taxes. The 2 casinos here have overtaken the total revenue of casinos in Las Vegas, Lee Kuan Yew left his PM job as the world's longest serving prime minister. We also have the world's the longest-serving prisoner of conscience, Chia Thye Poh whose detention exceeded that of Nelson Mandela.
Singaporean workers are the world's unhappiest. Singaporeans shoulder the heaviest share of healthcare expediture among developed countries and our govt % expenditure of healthcare is the lowest. Our expenditure on defense express as a % of the govt budget exceeds that of Israel.
The foreign maids in Singapore are the among lowest paid in the world - large part of what you pay goes to the levy yet the whole country can debate for months over giving the maid one day off per week when this is mandatory in every other country where they are better paid. Singapore probably has some of the best educated cabbies in the world due to severe structural unemployment - it is not uncommon to meet a cabby with a degree and if you're lucky, you can meet the one with a PhD from Stanford.
Our team based (GRC) election system is quite unique in the world and generate results that are also very unusual - a govt opposed by 40% of the people has 95% of the seats in parliament.
We have elderly cleaners [Elderly toilet cleaners a sad reflection of society here] - they are sometimes so old that even people from developing countries like China and Phillipines get a shock when they see these cleaners. Singaporeans have the highest savings rate in the world due to the CPF scheme but more than half will not have enough (minimum sum) to retire on. Singapore has one of the highest reserves per capita in the world - large part of which comes from the the sale of public housing to Singaporeans many of whom now have great difficulty retiring unless they are willing to lose their homes.
It is strange how we have come to accept some of these extremes as normal over time. When you talk about spending a little less on defense some Singaporeans will worry about being less secure. When we discuss about giving maids one day off Singaporeans worry about what the maids will do during their day off - yet they trust the maid to look after their expensive homes and their children. When we cut the pay of our leaders which was the highest in the world, we cut it to a level that is still the highest in the world. The govt is terrified of giving a little more aid to the poor elderly so that they do not have to work yet they are okay with with losing a few tens of billions of our reserves in bad investments.
There is a tipping point when people begin to see reality for what it is and the distortion becomes hard for the mind to accept. There will be a point when change becomes inevitable and people begin to push things from the extreme back to normal - the propaganda can only do so much for so long. I often wonder if it is going to be a long slow process towards normality or we are going to snap out of this deep hypnosis by a single event in 2016.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Your father likes what??
I was telling The Man how one of my colleagues was taunting me for dressing like a rockstar instead of a lawyer.
Frou: She came up to me and ask me, "What are you rebelling against?" And when I didn't answer, she kept poking at me!
Man: So what did you end up saying to her?
Frou: I shouted, "YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!"
Man: Isn't that the theme song for Malcolm in the Middle?
Frou: Yah! I was loss for words. What should I have said instead?
Man: If I were you, I would have said, "So what? Lim pei hwa hee leh!"
Frou: What does that mean?
Man: It means, "So what? Your father likes it what!"
Frou: Hahahahhah! Oh my gawd, it is so ah lian! I love it!
Man: You can use it for many kinds of questions.
Q: Miss, why your skirt so short?
A: Lim pei hwa hee leh!
Q: Miss, why you park until like that?
A: Lim pei hwa hee leh!
Q: Miss, why you smoke outside yellow box?
A: Lim pei hwa hee leh!
Best answer for kok questions! (Or maybe not?)
Toe: Why your face like that today?
Frou: Lim pei hwa hee leh!
Toe: My father likes this kind of face meh?
I better stop being so rude.. urgh.
Frou: She came up to me and ask me, "What are you rebelling against?" And when I didn't answer, she kept poking at me!
Man: So what did you end up saying to her?
Frou: I shouted, "YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!"
Man: Isn't that the theme song for Malcolm in the Middle?
Frou: Yah! I was loss for words. What should I have said instead?
Man: If I were you, I would have said, "So what? Lim pei hwa hee leh!"
Frou: What does that mean?
Man: It means, "So what? Your father likes it what!"
Frou: Hahahahhah! Oh my gawd, it is so ah lian! I love it!
Man: You can use it for many kinds of questions.
Q: Miss, why your skirt so short?
A: Lim pei hwa hee leh!
Q: Miss, why you park until like that?
A: Lim pei hwa hee leh!
Q: Miss, why you smoke outside yellow box?
A: Lim pei hwa hee leh!
Best answer for kok questions! (Or maybe not?)
Toe: Why your face like that today?
Frou: Lim pei hwa hee leh!
Toe: My father likes this kind of face meh?
I better stop being so rude.. urgh.
Thursday, April 05, 2012
Everybody love lawyer jokes!
Well, I do!
You guys probably have read this from chain emails before but for those who haven't seen this, enjoy!
Lawyers are such dweebs, I tell you....
----------------------------------------------------------
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep , he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son , the 20-year-old , how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them.. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral , OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral..
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not , he was by the time I finished.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
You guys probably have read this from chain emails before but for those who haven't seen this, enjoy!
Lawyers are such dweebs, I tell you....
----------------------------------------------------------
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep , he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son , the 20-year-old , how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them.. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral , OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral..
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not , he was by the time I finished.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
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